Stepmom fears she crossed a family line by cutting her stepson’s hair without mom’s knowledge
Reddit users supported a stepmother’s act of cutting her stepson’s long hair after the boy requested a buzz cut — but all was not well in this scenario, as the child’s mother was less than thrilled by what took place.
“AITA for shaving my stepson’s long hair without his mom’s permission?” asked Reddit user “Logical-Mulberry-883” in a March 17 post on Reddit’s “Am I the A—–e” subreddit.
In the post, the Reddit explained that she and her husband have three sons together, ages 5, 4, and 2, and that she also has two stepsons: a 13-year-old and a 10-year-old.
They split custody of those boys with the children’s mother, she said.
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“I cut my kids’ hair myself, and my stepsons get their hair cut at a barber when their mom has custody,” Logical-Mulberry-883 explained, with the boys “occasionally” getting a haircut when they’re with their dad.
On “Wednesday afternoon, I decided to give my 4- and 5-yr-olds haircuts,” wrote the mom.
Her 10-year-old stepson then requested that she cut his hair as well, she said.
“His hair was currently shoulder-length, and he had been growing it for a while,” she wrote. “He wanted me to give him a buzzcut.”
After confirming that her stepson was sure she wanted his hair cut, she asked her husband if it was OK if she cut the boy’s hair.
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“My husband asked if I would wait until he came home so he could watch and record it,” said Logical-Mulberry-883.
And so, “when he came home, I shaved it and [the stepson] was very happy with the result.”
The mother told the stepmother that “I had no right cutting her son’s hair without her permission.”
Her stepson’s mother, however, was not of the same frame of mind.
“She immediately called my husband and was [angry] about the haircut,” said Logical-Mulberry-883.
“Later in the evening, she messaged me … to have a go at me and say I had no right cutting her son’s hair without her permission, and that it was a big change and I shouldn’t have allowed him to do it impulsively.”
Logical-Mulberry-883 said she did not reply to the messages from her stepson’s mother, as she “didn’t want to feed into any drama.”
She wrote to others on Reddit, “I thought [my] stepson was happy with his haircut and that’s all that really matters,” she said — but she’s since been rethinking the situation.
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“The more I think about it, the more I’m unsure if she’s right,” she said.
“If my son had a stepmom and came home from their house with a drastically different haircut, I think I might [have] been upset, too, and possibly think that person crossed an unspoken boundary,” she wrote.
She then asked others if she was in the wrong on her actions.
In a follow-up comment to the post, Logical-Mulberry-883 clarified that long hair did not hold any sort of cultural significance to her stepsons.
Fox News Digital reached out to the original Reddit poster for comment.
On the AITA subreddit, people on Reddit can reply to posts and indicate the poster is “NTA” (“Not the A—–e”), “YTA” (“You’re the A—–e”), “NAH” (“No A—–e Here”) or “ESH” (“Everyone Sucks Here”).
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Users can “upvote” responses they think are helpful and “downvote” ones that are not.
In this scenario, the majority of the over 800 replies were supportive of Logical-Mulberry-883 — and were more critical of her husband for not informing his ex-wife of the haircut.
“You got the OK from his dad, and he is old enough to make his own decisions about his hair anyway,” wrote Reddit user “Outrageously_Penguin” in the top-upvoted reply.
“It would have been weird for you to call his mom and ask after his dad already said to go ahead,” said the same commenter.
Another top comment praised Logical-Mulberry-883 for trying to avoid drama with her stepson’s mother.
“NTA. Your stepson asked you to give him a buzzcut and you asked him if he was sure and got confirmation from his dad,” said a Redditor with the username of “The_IT_Dude.”
“It sounds like your stepson was very happy with the result and that should be the most important thing,” said the user.
“It’s understandable that his mom was upset, but it’s not like you made the decision without consulting anyone. You also didn’t feed into any drama, which is always a good thing,” added The_IT_Dude.
Others were critical of Logical-Mulberry-883 for not taking the time to reach out to the boy’s mother.
“I guess this is unpopular, but I think YTA. Or at least problematic,” said Reddit user “Active_Visual_1942.”
“Getting a haircut without informing her is one thing, but doing a buzz cut on shoulder-length hair without at least telling [the] mom shows a lack of respect for her as a parenting partner,” said the user.
“This one is on your husband.”
This person added, “Even as a married person, I wouldn’t make a decision to seriously alter my kid’s appearance without giving my husband a heads-up.”
Another user was more succinct.
“NTA,” wrote a Reddit user by the name of “poeadam.”
“This one is on your husband.”